Response to Lauren's "New Coach" Short Story

      For me, this story was extremely relatable since Kaylee and myself have both torn our ACL's. Gross. It sucks. Competitive cheerleading, along with softball, was a huge part of my life for a very long time; thus, I know exactly what Lauren had in mind throughout this story. I saw the main focus of the short story as Kaylee's harshly intense experience with her new competitive cheerleading coach, Alex. I enjoyed Kaylee's character and thought she was pretty accurate. From my experience, generally many talented and hard working athletes do what they are told. In this case, following Alex's ridiculous directions leads Kaylee to tear her ACL, resulting in painful surgery and several weeks/months of recovery. Though we have a third person narrator here, we still see get to see things from Kaylee's point of view to an extent. It would be nice to actually see these things instead of being told though. For example, allow the reader to see the agonizing pain of an ACL tear. We hear the long speeches Alex gives, but show some reactions from other squad members including the parents. I think if some emotion or reactions from other characters throughout the story would help the reader identify more with the story. Allow us to see what is happening rather than simply telling us. Adding some imagery throughout by describing the setting, characters' physical descriptions, etc.
      As far as characters go, I liked Kaylee's character and that she decided to walk out on her new coach, Alex, in the end. Alex, however, seems a bit over the top. I have definitely experienced these types of coaches, but we have always benefited from the harshness of these types of coaches like Alex. Though cliche, I do love a good sports story so I thought it would be neat to end the story by saying something about how they gained so much from Alex, although he's a total douche. I would love to see more of who Alex is besides the rough exterior front he has. Maybe Kaylee experiences some one-on-one time with him where he opens up to her? Or she catches him doing something unexpected (nothing gross or anything-more like something sweet we wouldn't expect from his character)? Just a few suggestions so the reader is able to find some depth and understand why the character acts this certain way.
     I thought the ending was a wee bit rushed, as though Lauren wasn't sure exactly how to end it or even uncertain of where to go with it while still keeping it a short story. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the sports theme of the story and the effective dialogue throughout. I found in very realistic!