A First World Pain
By Jessica Mullino
Getting paid to lie on the couch, watch television, and raid a family’s pantry? I guess it can’t be that bad. I mean, that’s basically what I would do at home anyways, except for getting paid in cash I would more than likely be paid in yells ringing through the house from my mom, why aren’t you doing anything tonight? Or, if you’ve got all this time on your hands go fold your clothes or clean your room! Babysitting two small girls between the ages of five and seven on a Friday night doesn’t exactly lie at the very top of my high school bucket list, or even at all really, but I figure doing a sweet couple that I know through church a favor this one time wouldn’t completely kill me, although it would diminish my “twelfth weekend in a row hanging out with my friends in the middle of a field” record.
After calling the Stiff’s, I gathered their address, 1147 Flatwood Road, that they would only be gone two to three hours at the most, and that they were paying me fifty dollars for the whole night. Two or three hours for fifty bucks? Not bad, Stiff family. Since I’m only sixteen, I’ll take any money I can get. Plus, all I’m going to do is watch my absolutely favorite television channel anyways.
Channel forty was airing the final episode to the Missing series, in which a seventeen year old blonde girl goes missing. Though cliché, this thrilling series has captured my Tuesdays from 6:00pm-7:00pm. In the last three seasons, I’ve never missed a show, nor am I about to. With each episode, my heart beats faster and faster becoming attached to the helpless parents, shady policemen, and untrustworthy friends of the petite blonde. Tonight’s airing will answer all the questions I’ve been longing to know. Why is she missing? Is she alive? Who kidnapped her? Etc. Basically, this episode was expected to top every television show ever created. Tonight it goes down in history.
As I arrived at the Stiff home, they welcomed me into their two-story home. The walls’ colors were warm and inviting, painted with soft desert tans and reds. Smells of cinnamon and vanilla filled the rooms as they toured me through each of the rooms, upstairs and downstairs. Mr. and Mrs. Stiff smiled and introduced their two young daughters, Kelly and Kameron. As they began to make their way towards the door, giving Kelly and Kameron kisses and reviewing the “be good” speeches, I glanced in the living room. Hmm… no television.
“Oh, Mrs. Stiff, I didn’t see a T.V. earlier, where do y’all keep one?” Kelly and Kameron looked at me with annoyed faces as their mom joyfully explained that they did not own one. It is an evil device that “corrupts young minds.” I was in shock.
“What? NOOOO!” Mrs. Stiff smiled and bid us farewell as she winked and walked out the door.
This is what's going to happen to all babysitters at my house since we don't have cable.... I like how obsessive the character is about TV -- but can you hint at why she's this way? Or make it matter more? And maybe think more about the closing--it feels kind of like a punchline right now.
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