"Deception" by Laurel Kostakis

      As I first began reading the story, it showed to be nothing too special, just a simple story featuring a simple married older couple with two children and two grandchildren. Their lives seemed to be extremely normal, which started the story off a wee bit boring; however, now having read the entire peice, I think Laurel chose to set up the thrilling ending by creating an unsuspecting and arid exposition.
      The obvious theme and accurate title of this story is deception. Marcy believed she truly knew her husband of many years, Kevin. We, like Marcy, suspected nothing deceiving about Kevin at first. Sure, their relationship was not as intimate as it once was, but they had lived together for numerous years, raised children, and were in the process of spoiling grandchildren. It was not until Marcy called her friend, Clair, that the suspisions of who Kevin really was arose.
     Personally, I thought Laurel did a great job building the suspense up to the climactic ending. The comparison between the high energy ending and the low tempo of the first half of the story is a significant difference and to me, enhances the profound ending.
      Although I thoroughly enjoyed the story, I feel as though the ending was a little rushed. Learning of your husband's infedelity throughout your marriage,that he wanted to murder you, and that an experienced and fairly successful burgaler/murderer was also creeping in your house at the exact time your husband came into your home to kill you, is a whole lot to take in. I wish I would have been able to see more emotion from Marcy in the end. It's almost like she runs to the neighbors, calls 911, doesn't want to tell her kids about their father yet, moves out, adnd then has two dogs. I thought you could possibly omit some of the previous descriptions, maybe of Carol (?), which would leave more room for the ending and Marcy's coping. Something that dramatic and life-altering cannot be something easy to simple get over. Along with that, I did really enjoy the punch line at the end, but since the ending was rushed, I almost felt like it was too soon to joke about her situation. However, I did find "my husband bought them for me" quite humorous!
      In summation, I really liked this story, especially the hyped up ending! I love a good story of deception and scandal. Maybe I watch too many infinitesimal Lifetime movies, in which this story could absolutely air on. I thought it was set up very nicely, and I as a reader got to experience the thrill of Kevin's deception along with Marcy. I only wish I could see more of the gut-wrenching emotion Marcy must have felt afterward. I wanted to feel a little more of the deception Marcy truly felt, if she felt any at all. Maybe she was more relieved that she was still alive? Maybe she didn't enjoy her marriage anyways? I would just like to see how Marcy felt about it maybe a few days afterward. Other than that, I thought it was well thought out and I really liked each of the characters. For me, they were mostly realistic and effective.

Response to T.C. Boyle's "Love of My Life"

       Maybe it's because I'm a cliched hopeless romantic, not one of my most admirable qualities, or maybe it's because of the disturbingly distraught storyline that draws me into Boyle's story; nonetheless, I surprisingly enjoyed Boyle's tragic story and even style of writing. I loved the short sentences throughout the story, not lingering on and on, and allowing each short line to sound even more profound, filled with emotion, yet extremely straight forward. I really enjoyed the realistic tone and reactions from each character. I found them very effective and relatable.
       This tragic story is about a high school couple, Jeremy and China, who seem to possess a deep sense of "love" of what they think love should be for each other, which for them was extremely physical as it is for most hormonal high schoolers in relationships, than many experience in such a short amount of living. However, through the story, we do get an insight into their relationship and it does seem as though they contain a deep connection maybe due to their physicality, nonetheless, their connection is somewhat emotional. Jeremy and China seem to be the cliche version of a senior couple-- China as the intelligent, diligent, and over achieving student accepted to her first choice college, while Jeremy is the laid back, easy-going, but also a very bright guy. As the story progresses, we find that they are forced into a dilemma, China is pregnant and wants to keep the baby, but doesn't want anyone to know she's pregnant. The ultimate theme I got from the story is that no matter how much you love someone, actions have consequences. You cannot solely act without thinking of the repercussions.
       There were consequences when Jeremy and China had sex--China became pregnant. There were consequences when China decided to birth the baby and keep it a secret--an undoubtedly dangerous birthing. There were consequences when Jeremy threw their baby into the dumpster--China and Jeremy were arrested. Several of these lifelong consequences could have been prevented, if only they had thought them through more cautiously and rationally. Yet, on the other hand, they are only eighteen years old. Barely legal, but old enough to know right from wrong.
       Along with the theme of consequences, I also see the important insights into a pregnant teen's thoughts and her partners. Since the pregnancy rate of high school students is rising, I think this peice is exceptionally relevant to today's society. For many of us, without having experienced a pregnancy through the transition of high school to college, it is easy for us to say "oh, that's tough" or "that sucks." However, through this story, we are able to see and experience the difficulties of dealing with the emotional and physical pains of high school relationships, a pregnancy during freshman year of college, and the confusion of wht to do afterward. This story could definitely be used to help girls and guys going through the same situations to rationally think about the situation they are in, nd the consequences of their actions. Boyle also ties in the theme of love through the story. With each trial, literally and figuratively, Jeremy and China's love for one another proves strong. It is easy to conclude this from the last few lines, "He was Jeremy. He was the love of her life. And she closed her eyes and clung to him as if that were all that mattered."

Aimee Bender's "Off"

       I found this story to be about a very harsh woman who has made it her goal to make-out with three men at a party she is attending: a blond, a brunette, and a red head. As we enter the mind of the blunt and judgmental woman with the never-questioned make-out goals, we follow her as she begins to succeed through the night, kissing the red head first. Her true and mainly malicious side shines through her materialistic personality quickly. In many instances, we are able to see her as a heartless and cruel woman who was born into a wealthy inheritance, in which she has never regretted. She seems to be extremely bored with life,and her only way of making it interesting is to play with people and to manipulate them. For example, I saw this prominent during the scene where the narrator explains that she knew the party's host previously and used to buy her clothes that her mother would never approve of, simply so the host could try them on and blush when she received compliments from the deceiving woman. the host would never wear them outside of the closet, but she secretly enjoyed being able to be "rebellious" and at least try them on. Though the woman encouraged the host to wear the clothes outside of the closet, it never happened. This particular scene could also be seen as a good quality the narrator possess, but we the readers must question her motives due to the previous insights we have of her.
       It almost seems as though every time I begin to somewhat like that narrator, she goes and does something completely evil, or says something unnecessary about another person attending the party. Her motives are never pure or good it seems. Although we do get to see one scene where the narrator thinks back of her Great Dane dog she once owned. She describes its death, and we want to believe that the narrator is capable of some kind of feeling or emotion. She gives us a splint second of hope, and then quickly changes the subject. Also, we are able to see her interaction with her ex-boyfriend, Adam. Obviously, Adam is someone she did care about on some level, no matter how shallow, and we can see that he is someone who made an impression on her because she still seems to care about him.
       Although the narrator is an unlikable character, she is someone I wanted to read about. I wanted to know just how mean and deceitful she could get. Even with her brutal comments, manipulative nature, snobbishness, judgmental views, and moody attitude, she is still a character who draws readers in. Since she has no shame and apparently no connection to anything or hardly anyone, she is such a bold character that many readers are intrigued by, even though she is hated.

Response to Rhamah's "Leaving"

          This short story for me focused a lot on identity and finding yourself. The narrator, Bethany, speedily takes us through her voyage of eventually becoming asexual through a series of events with her best friend and ultimately her girlfriend, and not the girl that’s just a friend type. To me, Bethany seemed to be almost aimlessly walking through life. Adolescents and childhood is hard enough for most people, especially during the confusing identity crisis phases when teens struggle with who they are, who they want to become, and finding themselves. For Bethany, she seems to still be in this phase. It seems to me that she simply wants to find herself and her sexuality in which she is lacking. There are a few times when Bethany seems confused, but goes with the flow anyways, especially in the beginning when Katherine made her first move on Bethany with a kiss.

            I really enjoyed the narration and insight we received from Bethany. She provided a little humor and lots of significant background information. Though this was a speedy run through of her and Katherine’s relationship as children to young adults and how she found her lack of sexuality, the narrator provides the right amount of information to allow the reader to accurately follow the story while also receiving insight into other characters. Not only are the grade by grade and year by year little excerpts effective, but the small one-liners about a character helped develop them and give us insight into who they are. One example of this is when Bethany talks about Katherine telling her she thinks she is gay, “I saw one of her hands come up to pick at her face, something she did when she was nervous. Her mom hated it.” I thought little facts like saying that her mom hated when she picked at her face was unique and gave us just a wee bit more of information about Katherine’s character.

                The dialogue throughout was really effective and significant without giving the reader too much unnecessary information. I thought most of the dialogue was realistic, and there were only a couple of instances where I did not think Bethany or Katherine would really say that, such as when the narrator goes from a sarcastic youthful tone and then swaps to a very literary writing tone by saying, “…she gave me so long ago,” or just little nitpicky things like that. I also thought the structure matched the story in which they both flowed very well, even from year to year, or story to story. The story was tied together quite nicely and I found it very insightful.

               

Response to J.J.'s "Lessons"

For me, this story seemed to be about an American boy who is unwillingly receiving advice from an old Italian man on a train, who sees the boy as naïve, but surprisingly enough, the end of the story amusingly revealed in a twist that the boy who knew exactly what the sly old man was preparing the entire time he spilled his “wisdom” to the young boy. Both characters turned out to be pickpockets and the young boy got the better of the old man. Looking back, I would say the story is about appearances, and that they are not always what they seem to be. We always hear the saying, “don’t judge a book by its cover,” and this was a comedic and refreshing way to view that phrase. Along with that, this story also says that not only can the young learn from older generations, but the older generations are never too old or experienced to learn from a younger generation. At the beginning of the story, I thought the young boy was going to experience some life changing lesson, when really the old man was the one who learned the lesson. This too leads to an extremely similar theme of the story—never underestimate someone, or in this case, your victim or opponent.

This story is told from the 3^rd person; however, I would like to see how it turned out if it were written in 1^st person. Through the 3^rd person narrator, we are able to see both the old man and the young boy clearly, but we also tend to get what the young boy is thinking in his head. Contrastingly, we are unable to see what the old man is thinking. I think it would be neat to see a little bit of what the old man was thinking throughout. Did he not suspect anything until the very last paragraph? Did he think he had won? Did the old man spot the young boy from a distance? Maybe it wouldn’t be very effective since we technically can fill in these blanks without the information actually written down in front of us, but nonetheless it could be a neat addition.

I found the dialogue throughout the story very realistic and effective. I like that the talking was concise and not a whole lot of insignificant chatter. I could imagine the words actually being spoken. Also, I thoroughly enjoyed the great imagery and descriptions of the train, boy, man, expressions, etc. They were extremely successful in the story for me. I enjoyed the sarcastic tone the young boy and narrator took on in the story as well, especially at the end, “What an awful simile.” I was really surprisingly pleased that much of the sarcasm and twist remained at the end. I did not find it cliché or predictable. I honestly thought it was going to end with some profound moment with the young boy lamenting on some life changing advice from the old man, but I am certainly glad I was wrong.

Response to Lauren's "New Coach" Short Story

      For me, this story was extremely relatable since Kaylee and myself have both torn our ACL's. Gross. It sucks. Competitive cheerleading, along with softball, was a huge part of my life for a very long time; thus, I know exactly what Lauren had in mind throughout this story. I saw the main focus of the short story as Kaylee's harshly intense experience with her new competitive cheerleading coach, Alex. I enjoyed Kaylee's character and thought she was pretty accurate. From my experience, generally many talented and hard working athletes do what they are told. In this case, following Alex's ridiculous directions leads Kaylee to tear her ACL, resulting in painful surgery and several weeks/months of recovery. Though we have a third person narrator here, we still see get to see things from Kaylee's point of view to an extent. It would be nice to actually see these things instead of being told though. For example, allow the reader to see the agonizing pain of an ACL tear. We hear the long speeches Alex gives, but show some reactions from other squad members including the parents. I think if some emotion or reactions from other characters throughout the story would help the reader identify more with the story. Allow us to see what is happening rather than simply telling us. Adding some imagery throughout by describing the setting, characters' physical descriptions, etc.
      As far as characters go, I liked Kaylee's character and that she decided to walk out on her new coach, Alex, in the end. Alex, however, seems a bit over the top. I have definitely experienced these types of coaches, but we have always benefited from the harshness of these types of coaches like Alex. Though cliche, I do love a good sports story so I thought it would be neat to end the story by saying something about how they gained so much from Alex, although he's a total douche. I would love to see more of who Alex is besides the rough exterior front he has. Maybe Kaylee experiences some one-on-one time with him where he opens up to her? Or she catches him doing something unexpected (nothing gross or anything-more like something sweet we wouldn't expect from his character)? Just a few suggestions so the reader is able to find some depth and understand why the character acts this certain way.
     I thought the ending was a wee bit rushed, as though Lauren wasn't sure exactly how to end it or even uncertain of where to go with it while still keeping it a short story. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the sports theme of the story and the effective dialogue throughout. I found in very realistic!

Response to Cary Bayless's "Mountain Blood"

      This story seemed to be about the overcoming of a great loss to the main character, Chad. Throughout the story, the reader is given background information about a tragic night when a serial killer "damaged" his girlfriend ultimately killing her before he got the chance to ask her, Julia, to marry him througha  series of flashbacks. This story shows the struggle Chad has with dealing with the loss of not only his girlfriend, but the love of his live, and also having to witness it all. This obviously takes a huge toll on Chad, seeing as he still keeps the ring he once put on Julia's finger as she laid in a deadly coma. I believe this story has a strong message and mostly because Cary does a great job developing the characters in such a short amount of time. I knew enough about each character to make the story work and flow nicely. Chad has an internal conflict within himself over the tragic loss of Julia. He wants to be able to move on, but death is a tough and touchy subject, in which Cary makes it work here, tugging at the reader's heart strings. Chad definitely goes through a change in the end of the story. After losing Julia's ring,  he seems to be coming to terms with her death and what happened to them; however, at the end we do not see Chad fully change, but we see the hope that there will eventually be a time that he can overcome the tragedy and be able to completely move on.
     The time period throughout the story was a little unclear to me. Not that it really mattered to me, because I was so into the story, I did wonder for a split second how long it had been since Julia died and how long Chad had been working in the mountains. Also, I was curious to how Julia eventually died. Did they have to pull the plugs on her? Did she ever show signs of recovery? Did she dies from something different? Nonetheless, I thought the unanswered questions kept it interesting and did not take away from the story for me as a reader. In fact, it allowed me to fill in the blanks for myself and add my imagination into it, ultimaltely allowing me to connect to the story. I really enjoyed this story and the plot. the characters and dialogue were effective to me and I think Cary did a great job!