Response to Cole's "Secret Park"

     As I began reading this story, I was under the impression the story's primary focus would be on the "secret park" the narrator describes in the opening paragraph. However by the end, the story seemed to focus on the narrator(I don't believe it mentions his name), an overweight twenty-nine year old man, who forms a fitness plan for himself with the help of two childhood friends, James and Sean both of which workout regularly. They agree to workout at the secret park and as they get deeper into their exercises, the narrator stumbles across James having an extremely severe allergic reaction.
     I enjoyed the narrator's tone and dialogue. I found it quite believable and realistic, though I don't hang with thirty year old men on a regular daily basis. I appreciated the descriptions Cole provided in the story. As well as having great imagery, I thought the descrptions were relevant and concise enough so it did not feel forced or as if he were simply trying to fill the pages. His imagery was effective and equally significant.
     On the other hand, I am not exactly sure what the purpose of the story was or how the characters necessarily changed through the course of the story. I can see how the story sets up for a change to be implied, but I didn't necessarily find that any change was being implied about a character. I was waiting for the opening paragraph to tie into the rest of the story as well. Since the title is "Secret Park" and the introduction paragraph is focused solely on the park, I was expecting there to be more interaction with the park or that some significance would come of it. I would suggest pulling the beginning and ending together just to give the ending more closure because right now it feels as though the ending just cuts off at the climactic moment of the story. I wanted to know what happened next, what James is allergic to, how does that tie in to the sifnificance of the park, etc. Also, I would love to know maybe a little  more background information about the narrator. You could consider adding his name (I may have just skipped/missed it if his name is in the story), why all of a sudden he wants to get in shape, married or not, does he take his kids to the park? Anything like that, but they are merely suggestions. All in all, I enjoyed reading the story and I think it could be enhanced with only a few minor details/clearifications. The storyline is set up nicely, as well as the tension at the end! There's great imagery and descriptions, along with relatable and realistic characters!

Response to Laurel's "Perfect"

    Several popular quotes came to mind as I began reading this story. First, two words: Mean Girls. I could picture Rachel McAdams stomping down the halls eyeing herself in anything reflective as she did so, completely consumed with herself. The main character's selfish disdain, superficial judgements, and conceited cockiness is quite exhausting. Though her character is a little over the top and possibly a wee bit cliche, I thought Laurel meant to make the main character exactly that, because that's just how the character is. As much as I would like to think that people like her only live in movies, I know from experience with living with a similar diva-like character as a roommate that this is not true.
      I loved how the story was told in third person and yet as a reader, I did not feel as though I was being told even ounce of information and instead Laurel did a great job showing me what was going on, not just stating facts and "she said, he said's." I also enjoyed the italics, allowing us to see inside the main character's mind. Though I would like to see the same changes that the main character goes through, in this case I think it happened rather abruptly at the end. It only took a couple of no-show guys for her to change her entire image and persona that she had been building up since high school. I'm not convinced that she would give up her new identiy so easy, however, I do think the character should go through these changes and have these identity questioning thoughts, but maybe in a more subtle way, implying that she will change back to the shy girl she was. Or even imply that she's going to change back into who she really is by allowing her to have these thoughts of her uncertain identity, but then she brushes it off and fixes her hair in the mirror or something? I'm not sure, but it has lots of potential and I really enjoyed reading it! Loved the characters and the conflicting identity crisis she has in the ending. Great job!

Jhumpa Lahiri's "Once in a Lifetime"

     Told through the eyes of  Hema, but it seemes to be an older Hema telling the story through her middle-school aged point of view. This story is directed to a boy, Kaushik, whose family held a close relationship with Hema's and had to live with her. Though Kaushik is not extremely present in most of the story, he obviously had an indenting impact on her. One summer, Kaushik's  father received a good job in the U.S. forcing them to move back to America from India. Hema's family offered them to live at their home until they were able to find a home for themselves, which they are quite picky about choosing. Hema becomes a love-stricken thirteen year old, crushing on Kaushik who seems to be a regukar disdainful sixteen year old. This story follows the time the two families spent together, learning and growing from each other, especially Hema.
     Cultural diversity is a dominating theme throughout the story. Hema, who has been "Americanized," learns many cultural differences from her house guests during their time together. I found Lahiri's incoporation of American and Indian cultures refreshing and interesting due to their contrasting elements and characters. The difference in each family's culture creates a nice build up of tension by Lahiri as Kaushik's family begins to wear out their welcome. I thought Lahiri did a great job here, amongst many other places, by showing the clashing contrasts between the families: Kaushik's family had preserved their Indian culture, while Hema and her family had become Americanized. Though Hema's family saw their guests' moving as a "weakness,"Despite their families' differences, Hema and Kaushik become close or get to know each other further after Kaushik shares an important secret with her. Lahiri's descriptions and images throughout were fantastic. I thoroughly enjoyed the small details she provided. Also, I really loved how Lahiri created the story to be a sort of flashback for Hema, as if she were telling Kaushik, helping him remember their encounters, etc. I found this extremely effective and helped me to identify with Hema. I'm not exactly sure why, but Hema's character just felt relatable to me. Though the ending is a bit sad, I loved the very last line and how Lahiri chose to end it by not fully closing the story, but giving the reader enough closer to where it doesn't just end abruptly. All in all, I found this story a great read and loved Lahiri's style of writing. Although, I think I would have enjoyed it even more if it were a tiny bit shorter in length. Nonetheless, I'm very glad I got to read it and become exposed to a different and effective style of writing.

Response to "Meow" by Cary Bayless

   This story was about a boy, Cyril, who is autistic. His life seems to be filled with rejection and disconnections from people. In the first scene, where our protagonist has creepily snuck into a neighbor's bedroom to read her diary again, it is evident that he lacks consciousness of social conventions and easily gains obsessions, hence his autism. Personally, when I first read the opening scene, I pictured Steve Urkel. Maybe a more serious and deeper character, but Steve Urkel nonetheless. Throughout the story, the narrator finds something he can connect and relate to: kittens. Cyril had always considered his cat, Jimmy-Cat, to be a close friend and when Cyril found out Jimmy-Cat was really a she, and a pregnant she at that, he witnessed the birthing of not only new kittens, but the birthing of acceptance and a connection between a boy and animals that Cyril will never forget.Thus, we find the slight change in Cyril's character from being rejected and feeling disconnected from people, to discovering quite the opposite through Jimmy-Cat's kittens. Cyril's character immediately jumped out to me. I find those with autism or any other type of similar disorder extremely intriguing. I loved that Cyril's disconnection with people contrasted so well with his acceptance and connection with animals in the story. Cary did a great job putting us in the mind of this innocent boy and although it never tells us exactly what is "wrong" or different about Cyril, it is easy to conclude that his mental disability proves an interesting point of view to read from. I absolutely loved the constant incorporation of numbers throughout the story as well which enhanced Cyril nicely. I only thought of a few minor details that you could consider working in: adding how Cyril gets into his neighbor's bedroom at the beginning scene and possibly providing some background information about Cyril's relationship and interactions with people. I thought you did a great job allowing us as readers to really get inside Cyril's head and I found him very believable. Great job, I really enjoyed your story as a whole!

Response to Rhamah's "Cats"

     This story takes place at a type of Animal Clinic where our protagonist works. Though we are never given the gender of the narrator, it is easy to get a feel for the character through his/her sarcastic and dry personality. The narrator works with an older lady which is referred to as "Cat Lady." Through the narrator's descriptions, the cat loving co-worker seems to fit the typical "cat lady" mold, who probably worked at the clinic for free or as a volunteer. The narrator describes her daily chores and cat encounters, especially with a one-eyed house trained cat named Lily, whom the narrator seems to feel sorry for until Lily draws blood from a young boy who walks in the clinic looking for a cat to take home.
      I really enjoyed the narrator's sarcastic tone and how he/she was able to read people, or probably accurately judge them, like the family that comes looking for a cat. The narrator knows right off the bat that they are not the type of people to actually care for a cat, they simply wanted the "image of having a cat." A plump and lazy feline that layed in their laps and purred all day that did not shed fur, poop, or scratch-- that is their idea of a cat that fits into their "pressed" lifestyle. I also loved the descriptions of the cats and chores the narrator gives us. We are able to grasp a little insight of who the narrator was, but it would be nice to get even more.
      With that, I wish we could have seen a little more character development. I was a little unsure about the entire purpose of the story and who changed by the end, but I did thoroughly enjoy it. It would have been interesting to know who the narrator was, but I did not find it completely necessary because it did not take away from the story at all for me. I think the scene is set up nicely and has some great characters to work with. Over all, I enjoyed your piece and it could be enhanced greatly by answering a few small questions. Great job!

"Incarnations of Burned Children" by David Foster Wallace

      This story immediately begins with the arresting action of a father and mother attempting to rescue their young toddler from severe burns, but they are unsuccessful in doing so. In the end, they are out of time and their child dies. Earlier in the story, the focus weighed heavily on the dad, but towards the end, I felt as though the story's focus shifted to the toddler. In a different light, the ending's shift in focus could possibly be to comfort the parents and confirm that their child was no longer in pain? Then the primary focus of the story would be the mother and father, but it's just a thought! Each character was beautifully developed and authentically believable for me. I could see each action happening the exact way it is told, from the father running inside after hearing screams to the mother cursing and yelling out God's "first name." Though we are not provided with much background information and are not directly shown how the parents react in the ending, it is easy to assume that each character is forever changed. Whether it is for the good or the bad I am uncertain, but I do know that some change has been forced upon the characters physically, mentally, and emotionally.
       Some of the most enjoyable and brilliant components of the story for me were the narrator's emotionless tone yet ability to create emotion within the reader, and how Wallace took a completely depressing story and still provided a satisfying closure through the ending. Though the end is somewhat abrupt, readers are assured that the child has lived life "untenanted" and "whatever was lost never thenceforth mattered." The whole story is told in past tense and I guess I never actually realized it until the narrator simply summarizes the rest of the toddlers existence by looking back, which I thought was a great touch by Wallace. The only minute detail I was confused about was the title and how it's plural, "IncantationS of Burned ChildREN."  Yet there was only one story described; however, the more I thought about it, the more I assumed that this particular story was just one of many the narrator was telling or had told which would make the title accurate.
      Other elements of this story that captured my attention and that I felt worked significantly well were the title and instant climactic action. Wallace beautifully tells this tragic story through a third person narrator, whom, after finishing, I assumed was an angel-like spiritual being, or either the deceased toddler looking back and accounting the facts from a higher standpoint. Without much detail, the narrator still shows us that it is omniscient with insights into the parents' thoughts and lines such as, "and his man's mind empty of everything but purpose." I have also gathered that the narrator is quite young as it refers to the parents as "the Daddy" or "the Mommy," as well as saying things like, "the Mommy said their God's first name," enhancing the tone even more. This child-like tone contained through the entire story, is evident also in the structure. One long paragraph serves as the whole story, possessing limited punctuation with numerous extended sentences linked together over and over by "and's."
       Though Wallace does not provide many descriptions of the characters, settings, or emotions, I am still able to maintain a strong emotional connection and sympathy for the Dad and Mom, as well as the toddler. This could solely be possible because of the lack of details given, and how it is simply told through straight facts and actions that the characters take. Thus, the tone can become creepily ominous, but in a really intriguing and significant way. There is also a feel of urgency and panic as the story unfolds, espcially through the long sentences and paragraph. The traumatic event is depressing in itself, but I found it even more intense since I had to incorporate my own emotions in place of the characters. Wallace incorporates this productive strategy very well through the narration by not blatanly telling me how they feel, but simply showing me. Despite the eerie feel of the narrator, I found the consistent tone extremely effective and moving. I also thoroughly enjoyed that Wallace omitted any dialogue and personally I think if any were added, it would take away from the story and the creepy yet innocently beautiful tone would be lost. This is easily one of my favorite, if not my most favorite, story assigned to us this semester. For some odd reason it must take a  depressing story to hit home and draw out my emotion which allows me to connect with the story like this one. I would love to read more stories like this one!
   

Response to Nate's "The Summer of Lemon Drops"

       "The Summer of Lemon Drops" is about a guy who received a ticket for public intoxication after mistaking a female police officer for a "sir." The narrator's punishment is to complete community service in Florida by following a park rangr around, digging up seaturtle nests to see if there were eggs and create grates to ensure their protection. I'm not exactly sure what the narrator wants, besides not having to participate in the maditory community service. It's a little unclear what the conflict within the story is as well. Though the narrator's friend John tricks him with a fake treasure box, I kind of wish something more would have come from it. I thought the narrator would have changed a little more through the story, however, I didn't see much change. Although, it was nice to see the narrator end up caring or interested in something since we see him as a guy who doesn't seem to take interest/care into a lot of things.
       I really liked the story line as well as the narrator's voice. He has a slightly sarcastic and realistic tone which I found quite enjoyable. I wish I could have seen more of the John character, with maybe some background information on John and the narrator's relationship, or possibly just John in general. Also, I would like to see a little more conflict in the story. I was a little confused about the title as well. I kind of wanted to see the lemon drops come into play more, or maybe the title changed? Nonetheless, I liked the story and I feel that it could be improved with only a few simple and minor details!

Response to Adam Smith's "Animals"

        I really enjoyed this story which seemed to mainly focus on the relationship between a "bad boy," the protagonist, and a "good girl," Jenny. The story highlighted the insights of an unexpected relationship between two opposites through the eyes of the narrator who happens to be the "bad boy." However cliche this storyline seems, I think Adam did a good job straying away from the overused scene where the good girl falls for the bad boy, two different worlds collide, and opposites attract. This storyline even goes back to Shakespeare who capured this in his famous story of Romeo and Juliet. Nonetheless, I found it very interesting to see the spiraling thoughts of the narrator and his constant struggle with who he wants to be and who he is. The story also hits on a bit of identity search for the protagonist, which is influenced by his relationship with Jenny. The identity crisis within the narrator adds to the conflict nicely. The narrator seems to go through several ups and downs in who he is and who he wants to be. He wants to be this "bad boy" because he knows Jenny likes it, but then again he wants to change for her as well. He feels terrible when he has influenced Jenny in the end.
       Not only did the narrator change throughout the story, but so did Jenny. Both characters seemed to swap roles by the end. I liked how the characters did not clichely end with the narrator changing himself simply for her. I thought Adam did a really good job exceeding my expectations as far as how the story would end up.

Response to Taylor's "Losing Sincerity"

      This story is about a guy named Brad who juggles college and a career as a hotel manager. Brad has several issues with the power that he has through his career. Not only is he superior to his friends attending a soroity function in the hotel Brad is managing, he is also in a higher position than his girlfriend. I enjoyed the story and the storyline, however, I did not find a huge conflict within the story besides the awkwarness/decision Brad has to either do his job and be nonprofessional, or he can let his friends get away with an out of control party and possibly lose his job. Also, I was not sure that the character Brad really changed from the beginning to the end of the story. He seemed to always be a prick. Whether he knows it or not, it does not seem like he really changes any through the story's events.
      I did like the characters and their personalities. Brad seems to be a believeable character through his actions and dialogues. Also, I really liked the Alyson character. I would have liked to see more of her and what she thought about Brad. It seems as though she doesn't necessarily like Brad because he says in one part that he basically talked her into dating him. I would have liked to see more of her character and more of a central conflict in the story.