Ethan Hightower's "Spanish Moss"

     This story was about three 8th grade boys Blake, Tommy, and Trig, the narrator of the story. The summer prior to becoming "men" and attending high school, they decide to smoke weed, something more "kids their age were doing," or I'm guessing the kids that mattered. The three journey into the woods and smoke a joint. After finishing, Trig notices a black suitcase or bag across the creek, and as the three swim across to check it out, they find a small grey hand poking from the bag's side. Terrified, the three run, not only from the confusion of what they've seen, but from each other. Their friendships are never the same after stumbling across a dead body.
     I thoroghly enjoyed this story, especially the narrator's voice. I found the eighth grade narration not only authentic, but humorous. The 13-14 years are hard to capture, but Ethan does a nice job of it here. I wish I could have gotten a little more insight to why the three boys never spoke about it or why they didn't tell anyone. Maybe it's just the girl in me, but my first instinct would be to discuss what the heck we just saw and then tell someone with some sort of authority like my parents, the police, etc. I wanted to see the narrator change a little more. He tells us that part of his innocence is gone, but I wanted to see it through action/dialogue in the end. Nonetheless, I like how the story ended and the plot as a whole! Also, I enjoyed the contrasting personalities of the three boys. Blake, the "goody-goody" who wears his emotions on his sleeves; Tommy, the boisterous leader of the group that must be the center of attention; and Trig, the character between his two counterparts who represents more of the general reader and a more relatable character. Though these extreme personality types are quite commonly put together in tv shows, movies, and books, I think it also works in this story very nicely. I loved all three characters and was interested in Tommy and Blake just as much as Trig. I felt satisfied as a reader when Trig tells us what happened to Blake and Tommy after the dramatic event. As a whole, I loved the story and found it extremely entertaining. I simply would have liked to see more of a change in Trig maybe through action or dialogue, but nonetheless it's a great piece!
     

Kody Blackwell's "Whatever Gods May Be"

     Told through a third person narrator, whose voice I highly enjoyed, this story focused on a religous man named Thomas Abrams and his loss of faith. Thomas began filling in for his church as the preacher after his previous one resigned. As Thomas begins to really take on his role as pastor, giving up his coaching and teacing jobs at Ambert County High School, it seems as though he simply goes through the pastorial motions: visiting members, reading his Bible daily, etc. Throughout the coming year, we slowly see Thomas begin to doubt his own faith, becoming less and less concerned about his sermons, readings, and his God. Thus, resulting in the final scene where Thomas announces to the congregation that he can no longer preach things he no longer believes in himself, and we also find his wife has birthed a son whom they named Thomas.
    I really enjoyed the narrative voice through th story, however, I wish I would have been able to possibly read it from Thomas's perspective. At times, I am not completely convinced why Thomas simply abandons his faith especially in such an exciting and life-changing time as becoming a parent. I think it would be more impressionably moving if we could see Thomas's thoughts through the process because in the end it doesn't necessarily seem to be a big deal at all. Thomas walks up to the pulpit one day and basically says he quits. It would have ben neat to see the crowd's reaction, Bethany's thoughts, or something like that. Many religious leaders in the church are very confident in what they teach and live by, therefore, I find it hard for Thomas to let go of his faith so easily. Another tiny issue I had was with the way time passed. I know in order for someone like Thomas to doubt his faith it does take time, but I wish it would have been either a short amount of time, or maybe I just wanted to see time change through desciptions rather than being told? I'm not sure, maybe I'm just being picky/weird. Along with the narrative voice, I really loved the character Bert in the story. I found myself rooting for Bert as he showered Thomas with his wisdom and advice. Also, I thought the characters were extremely realistic and relatable, especially since we're in the "Bible Belt" and I loved the settings and little details like the congregation singing the hymn, "The Old Rugged Cross," in the opening scene. All in all, this story was very well put together and I loved the whole concept of the story. The character change through Thomas was well developed and easy to spot, and I liked that I did not see the story ending with Thomas's loss of faith. It threw me for a short loop in which I enjoyed. Great work!

Response to Cole's "Secret Park"

     As I began reading this story, I was under the impression the story's primary focus would be on the "secret park" the narrator describes in the opening paragraph. However by the end, the story seemed to focus on the narrator(I don't believe it mentions his name), an overweight twenty-nine year old man, who forms a fitness plan for himself with the help of two childhood friends, James and Sean both of which workout regularly. They agree to workout at the secret park and as they get deeper into their exercises, the narrator stumbles across James having an extremely severe allergic reaction.
     I enjoyed the narrator's tone and dialogue. I found it quite believable and realistic, though I don't hang with thirty year old men on a regular daily basis. I appreciated the descriptions Cole provided in the story. As well as having great imagery, I thought the descrptions were relevant and concise enough so it did not feel forced or as if he were simply trying to fill the pages. His imagery was effective and equally significant.
     On the other hand, I am not exactly sure what the purpose of the story was or how the characters necessarily changed through the course of the story. I can see how the story sets up for a change to be implied, but I didn't necessarily find that any change was being implied about a character. I was waiting for the opening paragraph to tie into the rest of the story as well. Since the title is "Secret Park" and the introduction paragraph is focused solely on the park, I was expecting there to be more interaction with the park or that some significance would come of it. I would suggest pulling the beginning and ending together just to give the ending more closure because right now it feels as though the ending just cuts off at the climactic moment of the story. I wanted to know what happened next, what James is allergic to, how does that tie in to the sifnificance of the park, etc. Also, I would love to know maybe a little  more background information about the narrator. You could consider adding his name (I may have just skipped/missed it if his name is in the story), why all of a sudden he wants to get in shape, married or not, does he take his kids to the park? Anything like that, but they are merely suggestions. All in all, I enjoyed reading the story and I think it could be enhanced with only a few minor details/clearifications. The storyline is set up nicely, as well as the tension at the end! There's great imagery and descriptions, along with relatable and realistic characters!

Response to Laurel's "Perfect"

    Several popular quotes came to mind as I began reading this story. First, two words: Mean Girls. I could picture Rachel McAdams stomping down the halls eyeing herself in anything reflective as she did so, completely consumed with herself. The main character's selfish disdain, superficial judgements, and conceited cockiness is quite exhausting. Though her character is a little over the top and possibly a wee bit cliche, I thought Laurel meant to make the main character exactly that, because that's just how the character is. As much as I would like to think that people like her only live in movies, I know from experience with living with a similar diva-like character as a roommate that this is not true.
      I loved how the story was told in third person and yet as a reader, I did not feel as though I was being told even ounce of information and instead Laurel did a great job showing me what was going on, not just stating facts and "she said, he said's." I also enjoyed the italics, allowing us to see inside the main character's mind. Though I would like to see the same changes that the main character goes through, in this case I think it happened rather abruptly at the end. It only took a couple of no-show guys for her to change her entire image and persona that she had been building up since high school. I'm not convinced that she would give up her new identiy so easy, however, I do think the character should go through these changes and have these identity questioning thoughts, but maybe in a more subtle way, implying that she will change back to the shy girl she was. Or even imply that she's going to change back into who she really is by allowing her to have these thoughts of her uncertain identity, but then she brushes it off and fixes her hair in the mirror or something? I'm not sure, but it has lots of potential and I really enjoyed reading it! Loved the characters and the conflicting identity crisis she has in the ending. Great job!

Jhumpa Lahiri's "Once in a Lifetime"

     Told through the eyes of  Hema, but it seemes to be an older Hema telling the story through her middle-school aged point of view. This story is directed to a boy, Kaushik, whose family held a close relationship with Hema's and had to live with her. Though Kaushik is not extremely present in most of the story, he obviously had an indenting impact on her. One summer, Kaushik's  father received a good job in the U.S. forcing them to move back to America from India. Hema's family offered them to live at their home until they were able to find a home for themselves, which they are quite picky about choosing. Hema becomes a love-stricken thirteen year old, crushing on Kaushik who seems to be a regukar disdainful sixteen year old. This story follows the time the two families spent together, learning and growing from each other, especially Hema.
     Cultural diversity is a dominating theme throughout the story. Hema, who has been "Americanized," learns many cultural differences from her house guests during their time together. I found Lahiri's incoporation of American and Indian cultures refreshing and interesting due to their contrasting elements and characters. The difference in each family's culture creates a nice build up of tension by Lahiri as Kaushik's family begins to wear out their welcome. I thought Lahiri did a great job here, amongst many other places, by showing the clashing contrasts between the families: Kaushik's family had preserved their Indian culture, while Hema and her family had become Americanized. Though Hema's family saw their guests' moving as a "weakness,"Despite their families' differences, Hema and Kaushik become close or get to know each other further after Kaushik shares an important secret with her. Lahiri's descriptions and images throughout were fantastic. I thoroughly enjoyed the small details she provided. Also, I really loved how Lahiri created the story to be a sort of flashback for Hema, as if she were telling Kaushik, helping him remember their encounters, etc. I found this extremely effective and helped me to identify with Hema. I'm not exactly sure why, but Hema's character just felt relatable to me. Though the ending is a bit sad, I loved the very last line and how Lahiri chose to end it by not fully closing the story, but giving the reader enough closer to where it doesn't just end abruptly. All in all, I found this story a great read and loved Lahiri's style of writing. Although, I think I would have enjoyed it even more if it were a tiny bit shorter in length. Nonetheless, I'm very glad I got to read it and become exposed to a different and effective style of writing.

Response to "Meow" by Cary Bayless

   This story was about a boy, Cyril, who is autistic. His life seems to be filled with rejection and disconnections from people. In the first scene, where our protagonist has creepily snuck into a neighbor's bedroom to read her diary again, it is evident that he lacks consciousness of social conventions and easily gains obsessions, hence his autism. Personally, when I first read the opening scene, I pictured Steve Urkel. Maybe a more serious and deeper character, but Steve Urkel nonetheless. Throughout the story, the narrator finds something he can connect and relate to: kittens. Cyril had always considered his cat, Jimmy-Cat, to be a close friend and when Cyril found out Jimmy-Cat was really a she, and a pregnant she at that, he witnessed the birthing of not only new kittens, but the birthing of acceptance and a connection between a boy and animals that Cyril will never forget.Thus, we find the slight change in Cyril's character from being rejected and feeling disconnected from people, to discovering quite the opposite through Jimmy-Cat's kittens. Cyril's character immediately jumped out to me. I find those with autism or any other type of similar disorder extremely intriguing. I loved that Cyril's disconnection with people contrasted so well with his acceptance and connection with animals in the story. Cary did a great job putting us in the mind of this innocent boy and although it never tells us exactly what is "wrong" or different about Cyril, it is easy to conclude that his mental disability proves an interesting point of view to read from. I absolutely loved the constant incorporation of numbers throughout the story as well which enhanced Cyril nicely. I only thought of a few minor details that you could consider working in: adding how Cyril gets into his neighbor's bedroom at the beginning scene and possibly providing some background information about Cyril's relationship and interactions with people. I thought you did a great job allowing us as readers to really get inside Cyril's head and I found him very believable. Great job, I really enjoyed your story as a whole!

Response to Rhamah's "Cats"

     This story takes place at a type of Animal Clinic where our protagonist works. Though we are never given the gender of the narrator, it is easy to get a feel for the character through his/her sarcastic and dry personality. The narrator works with an older lady which is referred to as "Cat Lady." Through the narrator's descriptions, the cat loving co-worker seems to fit the typical "cat lady" mold, who probably worked at the clinic for free or as a volunteer. The narrator describes her daily chores and cat encounters, especially with a one-eyed house trained cat named Lily, whom the narrator seems to feel sorry for until Lily draws blood from a young boy who walks in the clinic looking for a cat to take home.
      I really enjoyed the narrator's sarcastic tone and how he/she was able to read people, or probably accurately judge them, like the family that comes looking for a cat. The narrator knows right off the bat that they are not the type of people to actually care for a cat, they simply wanted the "image of having a cat." A plump and lazy feline that layed in their laps and purred all day that did not shed fur, poop, or scratch-- that is their idea of a cat that fits into their "pressed" lifestyle. I also loved the descriptions of the cats and chores the narrator gives us. We are able to grasp a little insight of who the narrator was, but it would be nice to get even more.
      With that, I wish we could have seen a little more character development. I was a little unsure about the entire purpose of the story and who changed by the end, but I did thoroughly enjoy it. It would have been interesting to know who the narrator was, but I did not find it completely necessary because it did not take away from the story at all for me. I think the scene is set up nicely and has some great characters to work with. Over all, I enjoyed your piece and it could be enhanced greatly by answering a few small questions. Great job!